Maybe
I’m not as great an actor as I thought I was.
As I’ve said before I always try to keep my game face on, no matter how much pain and fatigue Chiari is dishing out. When people ask me how I’m doing I usually smile and say I doing fine. I also try my hardest every day to live like
a normal person and not let Chiari stop me from doing things. There are times that the pain and fatigue
slow me down a bit, but it never stops me.
I never want to be the dad that has to tell his kids he can’t do
something because he’s in too much pain or is too tired. There are times I have to limit the amount of
activity I do with the kids, or tell them I need a little rest before we do
something but I always try to be an active dad.
Well
the other day I learned I’m not always good at keeping my game face on. It was one of those days where Chiari was
kicking my ass and every step, every small movement made my head explode and my
neck burn and throb. Hell, it even hurt
to breathe. I thought I had my A-Game
working and that no one could see below the carefully maintained façade of
normality. Then it happened…I walked
through the family room on my way upstairs, said hello to my kids as I passed
them. As I turned the corner and headed
up the stairs I heard my beautiful little girl turn to her brother and say
“daddy is mad at everyone tonight”. I
felt a piece of my heart break and my eyes started to well-up a bit as the full
impact of her tone and words sunk in. I wiped
the tears away and immediately went back downstairs to explain that I wasn’t
mad and that I just had a really bad headache.
My explanation resulted in gentle kisses on my forehead from both of the
kids. Those kisses actually help me feel
a little better. I spent the rest of the
night just hanging out with my kids; I guess it wasn’t such a bad day after
all.
