Frustrating!  That’s a word that Chiari causes me to use far too often.  The last two weekends have been just that, frustrating.  I try not to let Chiari take over my life and stop me from doing things, I don’t always win the battles but I will always put up a fight.  One of the things I want to do before surgery is get some skiing in.  I have tried and failed the last two weekends.  The first time we went my head was killing me so I knew there was no way I could strap on the ski’s and bounce around on the hills.  This past weekend we tried again.  When we set out I was optimistic because I was having a good day and the pain was just a dull roar.  This time my legs let me down.  All I did was walk from the van to the lodge and by the time I climbed the stairs my legs were weak and shaking, they felt like Jell-O.  I don’t think I said it out loud, but one thought crossed my mind…Jesus H Christ this sucks!  Once again I spent my time on the mountain standing at the bottom watching all of the skiers and snowboarders enjoy their runs.  Don’t go feeling sorry me, I still manage to have a good time watching the kids develop as snowboarders and this time I got to watch Joyce ski.  I think watching Joyce ski was more fun then if I had been able to ski, it was her third or fourth time skiing and she did great.  Sure she almost skied into a building, but she survived and enjoyed herself.  The best part was hearing her laugh with Traci as they recounted each run.  It had been too long since I had heard her laugh that much, just hearing her laugh makes me feel better.  I also find ways to amuse myself while we are there.  One of my favorite things to do is to walk around the lodge and not get out of the way of people that are too busy texting to watch where they are going.  It’s fun, try it sometime. 

Back to frustration.  This past Sunday I woke up and knew it was going to be a bad day.  My neck and head screamed at the same time when I lifted my head from the pillow.  I muttered some choice words – OUCH is the only one I can print here – and dragged myself out of bed.  I had plans for the day and I’ll be damned if I was going to let Chiari stop me.  I took some pain med’s and tried not to do too much in the early part of the morning.  Even though my buddy Chiari was doing his best to stop me it was time to get to work.  I wanted to get the rest of the sheathing up on the porch walls.  I got done with the front wall and my head was pounding.  I could actually feel every heartbeat in my head, it hurt like hell.  But me being me, I decided I could finish the last wall, after all it was just two more 4x8 sheets.  Bad move!  By the time I got done it hurt to breathe.  I spent the rest of the day and night in some of the worst head and neck pain I have ever experienced.  It was the kind of pain where you want to smash your head against a wall until you are unconscious; one word sums it up…unbearable.  All I could do was lie on the couch and get up occasionally to keep the wood stove going or get a hug from Joyce.  It was so bad I couldn’t eat, which really sucked because Joyce had made banana bread and it smelled great – I had some this morning and it tasted even better then it smelled.   I finally gave up and went to bed around 8:00, or should I say, I finally listened to Joyce when she pointed to the stairs and said “go to bed”.   I tell people that I have good days and bad days, but Sunday was a horrible day and I am so glad it’s over.  It’s not often that you’re glad to see Monday come, but today I was glad to see it, now that’s frustrating J