Pre-Op Screening

Yesterday I finally got my pre-op screening appointment set up.  I go get poked and prodded on Monday February 4^th, I guess that means this surgery thing is really happening.

Last night I got watching a show about Super Bowl commercials and it occurred to me that dealing with Albany Med is like being the guy that had to deal with the monkeys in the Careerbuilder.com commercial.  You know the one where the monkeys are partying in the conference room and the guy informs them that sales are actually down and they have the graph upside-down.  He changes the orientation of the graph and as soon as he leaves the room the monkeys turn the graph back to the upside-down position and start to party again. Yeah, the same monkeys work at AMCH…they left me a message reminding me that I had the pre-op appointment on Monday.  That’s great but I had no idea I had this appointment scheduled and the lady that left the message didn’t bother to give me the time.  Let’s see how many people it takes to give you the time of your appointment, it turns out it’s the same as the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop – for those younger readers the answer is 3.   I called the woman that left the message about the appointment; after all she said to call if I had any questions about the appointment.  She couldn’t tell me the time but she could tell me to bring 25 forms of ID, my insurance card, a notary public, legal counsel, the parish priest, and our life savings.  I had to explain to her that that’s not how insurance works and they weren’t getting a penny until I got the bill from my insurance company.  After my explanation she transferred me to another person that would tell me the time, ha-ha-ha not so fast.  After telling the next woman what I wanted she proceeded to tell me where in the hospital to report to for the appointment, how many ID’s to bring, etc then she transferred me to another person that could tell me the time.  Guess what, the third woman told me the same thing the second one did, she helpfully added where I would go after checking in, then at long last she told me the time.  Holy crap, I was on the phone for 15 minutes just to find out what time to show up for my appointment. 

Today was another fun day!  Went to bed in pain and woke up with even more pain in my head.  But the real fun was waiting for me.  As you know from a previous post we heat the house with wood.  Wet wood doesn’t burn real well so the newly stacked wood is covered with tarps.  Tarps plus wind equal trouble.  Well this morning it was crazy windy and one of the tarps tried to escape and go visit the neighbors just as I was leaving the house to get the kids on the bus and leave for work.  I was able to stop that rascally tarp before it got too far.  In order to keep it from going any further I decided to grab an old tire and throw it on top of the tarp.  Did I mention that it has been raining here that last few days?  Well it’s been raining so the tire was filled with water which I was able to get to pour straight down my pant leg and into my boot.  Time to go back in the house and get changed…Grrrrr!  I finally got the kids on the bus and was about to pull out of the driveway when another tarp tried to escape.  This one covers the front of the pile that is in the wood shed.  I decide to keep this one in place with a large log that I use as the base for wood splitting.  There was no way another tire was getting me today.  I heaved that big old log up on top of the pile and walked back to the car feeling satisfied that my tarp worries were over.  My shoulders and neck were not as satisfied and they were making their displeasure known.  The pain distracted me enough that I didn’t pay attention to the fact that my hands were not just wet, they were covered in mud from the log.  Any guesses where all that mud ended up?  Anyone that guessed my pants or jacket gets the buzzer because you are wrong.  That wonderful mud ended up all over the door handle and steering wheel of my car.  I was already running behind schedule so I left my hands and the steering wheel dirty until I got to work.  I finally grabbed some paper towels and cleaned my car during lunch – and yes I washed my hands as soon as I got to work, I didn’t wait until lunch.

Oh…today the secretary from the neurosurgeon’s office – they are part of AMCH – called to tell me the date and time of my pre-op screening, where to go, and what to bring.  I played along like what she was telling was news to me.   If I didn’t already have a headache I surely would after dealing with these people.

8 days to go!